LOVE CONSUMES ME

Saturday

27 August 2022

Love Consumes Me

Funny isn’t it. Can love actually consume a person with an iron will and rock hard determination? Well, it’s like a poison which acts slowly but fatally. But it does work.

My love for every little thing, some of them so very trifle that they might as well be ignored by the next person. My love for every great author, every famous personality who inspires me, every fandom, my love for every song on my playlist and my limerence for her; it overpowers me. It is consuming me from inside, devouring my energies and my spirits. The very thought of ‘love’ distracts me. And yet I am impertinent enough to dream that one day, I’d become a critically acclaimed romantic author. And at such times, one seeks liberosis.

It overpowered me this morning too. It made me do something, had always been hesitant to do and yet had always looked forward to: talking to a girl of my age! It might sound like nonsense to you but it wasn’t that easy for me.

I was pretty late for class but still arrived with ‘The Battle Symphony’ booming through my headphones. Because after all, Swag mustn’t be abandoned for punctuality!  I entered the classroom and took one of the last empty seats, just behind her and started deciding on something in mind. Deciding on something, which would have been a very normal thing for the next person but not for me. For me, it was like a matter of life and death- “Should I ask her about what had happened before I came?” At last, I thought that it was either now or never.

This entire dilemma was caused due to the peculiar conditions to which I have been subjected since eternity. Talking to a girl with whom I have never conversed is a big thing for me, partially because I have never been really exposed to that kind of an environment. An inferiority complex had developed in my mind as a result of the presence of a rare yet absolute unnecessary consciousness and realization that girls of my age are an intellectually and socially superior race compared to my narrow-minded circle. I finally decided that I couldn’t waste any more time. The next question was how to approach a person so deeply absorbed in their work that it would appear to any ordinary person as if some wizardry was at work. Should I tap her on her shoulder? As soon as I started debating this idea in my mind, negative thoughts crossed my mind at a speed of a million radians per second. And at that moment, I felt the presence of a supreme power- God and there he was roaring with laughter at the futility of the jouska going inside my head. I too feebly smile. I was disturbed in this boketto, as before I could realize, my mouth, without the permission of my Central Nervous System and fumbled out these golden words-“Hey! What do we have to do?” the reply had a frequency beyond the comprehension of my so-very-human ears. She repeated herself and I was able to make out some faint words like “Diversity”, “Living”, “Organisms” and then a bold “Page 80”. I promptly opened the mentioned page in a state of mind beyond human imagination, with thoughts literally cramped up in my not-so-complex brain. Because of this hotchpotch, I am not even sure if I thanked her for the service she had rendered to the most unlikely person on planet earth.

After a busy day, I finally returned home and just I had planned, sat down to watch ‘Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring’ and suddenly occhiolism struck me. I felt that feeling come back to me once again- that my love for the plot was overpowering me; distracting me from the present. And the best remedy that I have found for this is Music. A right playlist distracts the distraction and just like two negatives make a positive, music is my ultimate weapon against my fragility to withstand love and then I let all my feelings flow into this never-ending ocean of words. 

                                                          HIMANSHU BATRA